I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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