If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
