there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
