god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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