do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
