I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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