i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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