I faked an abortion last night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
