No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize