It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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