His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
