I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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