I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
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I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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