I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
