i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
