So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
