then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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