You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
