Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
