Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
