Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
