dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am naked and annoyed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
