Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
