He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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