hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
