Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I intend to get homeless drunk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
