Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
