He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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