I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
