My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
