she was so not down for the gang bang
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
