at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
