I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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