As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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