I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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