I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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