i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
