Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
