So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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