even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
