i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
where are you?
Hypothermia
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
