my phone needs a breathalizer
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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