He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
