I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
barbara walters just said penis...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
