goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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