can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
