Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
