why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
