The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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