Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
