Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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